Mission impossible

I pulled out my mobile phone from my pocket and checked a new message. “Everyone is here. We are waiting for you. Where are you, brother?” It was from my friend or as I like to call her my sister, Xiaojing. She was leaving in few days to go back to Atlanta after spending a year in California and she had a goodbye party at our friend, Mirte’s place in Palo Alto. I stopped to text her back. I was exhausted, my hands were shaking and my fingers were sweaty. I tried to focus. “Coming… just passed Redwood City…have 20 more miles… will join you later” I texted back and put the mobile back in my pocket The sun was about to set and my story, was about to be written.

In late 18^th century, after Spanish explorers reached California and established their colonies there, they set up a missionarysystem that was going along the coast of California from San Diego in the south to San Francisco and beyond it in the north. The mastermind behind the project was a very controversial Catholic priest of Franciscan order, Father Junipero Serra. The main purpose of the mission system was to spread Christianity among the Native Americans but there are many controversies around how they achieved that purpose by enslaving the natives. There was a road to connect all these missions called “El Camino Real” or the royal road which has been turned into highway 101 for the most part today. There is a good part of this road still in use in the San Francisco Bay area and in fact this is a major street that connects San Francisco to San Jose. El Camino Real was a 600-mile (950 Km) road stretching from south to north connecting 21 missions. The idea was that a roughly 30-mile (48 Km) distance between each two missions can be traveled on horse in one long day. When I first came to the bay area and lived near this road, I became fascinated by the idea of connecting north and south of California by one road through 21 missions. What if I could travel along this historic road and see all of California? That seemed like a dream until a magic summer morning when I realized I have to do something remarkable to remember and be remembered with.

I woke up around 8 am on Sunday, September 13, 2015 in the bunk bed of my tiny studio in San Francisco. I had just recently come out of long lasting injury in my right leg; sheen splints. For the good part of last two or three months, I was not able to run or do any serious workout that needed my both legs. As an avid runner I was sad and depressed.  It was just a week before that I finally tried and succeeded to run to the top of Lassen Peak in northern California. But I was not still sure if I am ready to run a very long distance, longer than anything I had done before. The idea was simple but hugely ambitious; I wanted to go from San Francisco to San Jose or better o say from Mission San Francisco de Asis to Mission Santa Clara de Asis along El Camino Real. On the Google map, it says it is 45 miles (72 Km). I was not sure if I can do it at all. The longest distance I had run before that was 28 miles (45 Km) between Redwood City and San Francisco that I had run few months earlier when I was living in Redwood City.

As I was making breakfast, I thought about it more and more and I convinced myself that I was not ready to run it. I was not sure if the sheen splints would be back if I start running that long, or even if they would not, there was always the risk of dehydration when you run for that long in the summer plus I had no idea how long I would be gone for. What if it takes the whole day and what about the night? Where would I stay? I was scared and unsure, my confidence was shaky and my brain that I trust the most to optimize my life and give me the optimal solution at every little decision I am making in my life, was in disarray. Finally I managed to make up my mind. It was Xiaojing’s party and my birthday so I have to be with my friends. I decided to take my bike and ride it from San Francisco to Santa Clara along El Camino. This would count as my first mission-to-mission journey and then, I promised to myself, I will run the next ones, all 20 missions after this one. Having made my decision, I quickly geared back into my usual perfectionist mode. I changed and got into my cycling cloths, took my bike with few snack bars and water bottles and left the house in a journey to my first “mission”.

I rolled down Fillmore Street and started passing intersections one after another very quickly, then something started to change inside me. I felt a growing emptiness inside, I felt I was getting away from the person I was, the person I knew and I had worked really hard to become. I felt something big was missing in me. I was not myself and it bothered me the most. I have loved cycling since I learned how to bike when I was a little boy. Bicycles have been an integrated part of me for most of my life so riding a bicycle for me as natural as running, I ride my bike so freely and so happily that most of the time I forget that it is actually a mechanical machine that may not always operate the way I want and may fail me in dangerous circumstances. But honestly I have never cared about this. But that day, that Sunday morning, I felt something that I had not experienced before. I felt that the picture of me on my bike was something that does not belong to that sacred moment in my life. I hit the brakes and stopped. I was unsure and confused. Something was not right and I did not know what but then I started feeling it, hearing it from deep inside me. “I have to run the missions”. Suddenly I felt calm and confidence again. I was me again and now everything became clearer to me. I knew what I have to do and I was ready for it. No more doubts, no more fear. No more overthinking and underestimating. I was myself again: the adventurous, risk-seeker, confident me was back. I turned and started pedaling toward my home. I was determined and knew what I want and I could not wait to get home. California was calling me.